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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182's favorite FMLs

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (7163)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52834) - you deserved it (7776)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42175) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

#15248792
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39464) - you deserved it (5719)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:04am - love - by Username -

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37827) - you deserved it (6419)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (5764)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

#15174288
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/02/2011 at 10:28am - work - by Squinty6 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

#15162100
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13408) - you deserved it (40579)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35361) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53590) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (5076)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (8707)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (3104)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9955) - you deserved it (48333)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14351) - you deserved it (36730)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States



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