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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182

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Imkrazy182's favorite FMLs

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

#16071045
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (4164)

On 05/06/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

#15991083
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31358) - you deserved it (20844)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm - health - by Laci (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

#15982407
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (2784)

On 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm - health - by thanksmom - United States (California)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (3797)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44676) - you deserved it (5609)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (9063)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49499) - you deserved it (8052)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25891) - you deserved it (3447)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19257) - you deserved it (65817)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

#15718198
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49016) - you deserved it (4561)

On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

#15705121
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17874) - you deserved it (30180)

On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (9052)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (10956)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46085) - you deserved it (15405)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML



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