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Mobility
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Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (4306)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (7298)
On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42875) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (2641)
On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16113) - you deserved it (51314)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (3561)
On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14996) - you deserved it (21702)
On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32103) - you deserved it (7248)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (8609)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39342) - you deserved it (12264)
On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (4510)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32262) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (7109)
On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35813) - you deserved it (3249)
On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (4580)
On 03/09/2011 at 5:04am - love - by Username -
Monday 20 May 2013
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