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Mobility
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Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (3155)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (7149)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (39251)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36356) - you deserved it (8340)
On 06/17/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by catherine - United Kingdom (London)
Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (8898)
On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (4076)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (35759)
On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13518) - you deserved it (58348)
On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8139) - you deserved it (174182)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9105) - you deserved it (45751)
On 05/13/2011 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by scalmon - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28477) - you deserved it (5514)
On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore
Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35461) - you deserved it (3213)
On 05/06/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (15530)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm - health - by Laci (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38219) - you deserved it (2105)
On 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm - health - by thanksmom - United States (California)
Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (2907)
On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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