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Offline (the 07/16/2016 at 2:53am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13914
  • Number of comments : 680
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 11 posted

About ImTheAlpha : I am fabulous. Likes Industrial, Punk, and Goth fashion and music. Doesn't understand the elitist attitude, though. Likes (and hates) politics (seriously some things are just basic human decencyyyyyy and stahp with the religious excuuuuuse). Likes anime. And Pokemon. Cyberpunk is life, nowadays almost literally. message me if you wanna talk, I don't bite people I don't know. I'm so booooorrrreeeeeddd notice me senpai I HAVE SUCCEEDED AT GETTING MODERATED REPLYING TO MY OWN FML look at all the profile pictures! :33 I congratulate those who get this far but seriously you just wasted a bit of your life on this and you're still reading.

ImTheAlpha's page activity

Visits<b>Hooorror</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 3:27pm<b>TeaRex__</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 3:52am<b>WtfFriend</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 3:46pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 5:44pm<b>DesignOfHalogen</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 10:14pm<b>bakry</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 9:49am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 11:52pm<b>kittikat8ball</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 7:04pm<b>harlsp</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 5:15am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 12:30am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 4:52am<b>fitnessgram</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 9:37am<b>AzureDawn</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:19pm<b>seba7236</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 8:36am<b>LittleJess23</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:09am<b>junko_enoshima</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:06am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 6:51am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 5:50am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 6:30am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 10:53am<b>seba7236</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 2:36pm<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 12:51pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:16pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 3:37am<b>Imnotreallyblack</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 4:46am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:13pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:12am<b>_ely_foster_</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:14pm<b>magma080</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:18am<b>TheAnon1313</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:13pm<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:16am<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:16pm<b>DemonicOtaku101</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:33am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:10am<b>Kendrick_IX</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 7:38pm

ImTheAlpha's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ImTheAlpha's badges

ImTheAlpha's favorite FMLs

Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML

by grosstoenail / 07/13/2016 at 1:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, a stranger nearly beat the crap out of my boyfriend for being a pedo. I ended up showing the guy my driving license to prove I'm not a pre-teen and that I'm just freakishly young looking. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, the cut on my face from getting hit with a baseball healed. It's left a dick-shaped scar. FML

by dickface / 03/31/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I, a vampire-pale girl, went on a blind date with a very dark-skinned young man. We got on like a house on fire, and everything was going smoothly until we leant in for the kiss. I was wearing makeup and no setting spray. He came away with half his face smudged snow white. FML

by JJ / 03/21/2016 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML

by buttercup92 / 03/13/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML

by Thanks Trump / 03/08/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 6:49am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom for the very first time. After shaking my hand and looking me up and down, she loudly proclaimed, "She doesn't have the right hips to have kids." FML

by bregaja / 02/25/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my grandma posted an embarrassing childhood photo on my school's events page. I told her everyone could see it, and asked if she could take it down. She freaked and commented on it, apologizing for posting it. Now I feel guilty for embarrassing her, and it's still on the page. FML

by purplefuzz / 02/19/2016 at 6:34pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2016 at 1:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML

by Pauline / 02/09/2016 at 4:35pm / United States / Kids

Today, a woman yelled at me for hurting her. I'm a tattoo artist. FML

by thrill house / 01/24/2016 at 7:57pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work