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ImTheAlpha

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ImTheAlpha

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3570
  • Number of comments : 486
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ImTheAlpha : I've been gone from here for a while and I'm cringing at my previous comments. Presents as masculine. likes Industrial fashion and music. Likes anime. Combat Boots are love. Has a deviantart account. Will occasionally refer to oneself as oneself. message me if you wanna talk, I don't bite people I don't know. How do I remove the gender indicator? I'm so booooorrrreeeeeddd

ImTheAlpha's page activity

Visits<b>hillgerb</b> - 7 hours ago<b>SingingWolf</b> - 7 hours ago<b>IamFrench</b> - 12 hours ago<b>ryan4723</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 8:40pm<b>qlortin</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:08am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:42am<b>zdane</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:26am<b>Etched</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:55am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:34pm<b>MammaJammaa</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>deepunder</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:54am<b>AdvanceMind</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:20am<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:22pm<b>XKkim_</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:26pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:37pm<b>rs89</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:08pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:11pm

ImTheAlpha's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of ImTheAlpha's badges

ImTheAlpha's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (8898)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34727) - you deserved it (2664)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (5194)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36325) - you deserved it (22117)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (2841)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57813) - you deserved it (2684)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (7331)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (4703)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43678) - you deserved it (3161)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (22855)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45393) - you deserved it (5931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19570) - you deserved it (6369)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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