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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7115
  • Number of comments : 556
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About ImTheAlpha : 1 l1k3 5h339 4nd 57uff 🐑. Looks like a dude (for the most part. My hair is too fabulous!). Likes Industrial, Punk, and Goth fashion and music. Doesn't understand the elitist attitude, though. Likes (and hates) politics. Likes anime. And Twitch Plays Pokemon. And Homestuck for some reason. Combat Boots are love. Cyberpunk is life. Has a deviantart account and is scarred for life by what has been found there. Will occasionally refer to oneself as oneself and use archaic words. My mom never taught me which words are still in use. Is an asthmatic hallucinating biohazard. message me if you wanna talk, I don't bite people I don't know. I'm so booooorrrreeeeeddd notice me senpai I HAVE SUCCEEDED AT GETTING MODERATED look at all the profile pictures! :33 I congratulate those who get this far.

ImTheAlpha's page activity

Visits<b>coppersmith</b> - 8 hours ago<b>homesuckfucker</b> - 12 hours ago<b>poncho55</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:42pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:10am<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:12pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:44pm<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:56am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:11pm<b>TheFuckGiver1230</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:09pm<b>J_Fid</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:14pm<b>cnguyen32500</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:54pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:07pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:09pm<b>bonnniej</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:48pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Terrynics</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:34pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 3:54am

Liked!<b>poncho55</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:56am<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:42am<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:29am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:13am

ImTheAlpha's FML badges

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ImTheAlpha's favorite FMLs

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (4902)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (1925)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:00pm - health - by ThatWasntFun - United States (Florida)

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (2364)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32036) - you deserved it (2353)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29861) - you deserved it (6111)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (15610)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (2174)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (3133)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML


I agree, your life sucks (36863) - you deserved it (3749)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (2286)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (5205)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44104) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35025) - you deserved it (3896)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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