Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ImTheAlpha

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

ImTheAlpha

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3856
  • Number of comments : 502
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ImTheAlpha : I've been gone from here for a while and I'm cringing at my previous comments. Looks like a dude (for the most part. My hair is too fabulous!). Likes Industrial, Punk, and Goth fashion and music. Likes anime. And Twitch Plays Pokemon. Combat Boots are love. Has a deviantart account. Will occasionally refer to oneself as oneself. message me if you wanna talk, I don't bite people I don't know. How do I remove the gender indicator? I'm so booooorrrreeeeeddd notice me senpai I HAVE SUCCEEDED AT GETTING MODERATED

ImTheAlpha's page activity

Visits<b>bkpowell</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Supergirl1988</b> - yesterday at 5:52pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - yesterday at 10:30am<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:27am<b>edvin</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:25pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>andrew1012</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:12pm<b>metalhead4740</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:05pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:13pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:02pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 5:16pm<b>LeeZ23</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 5:00pm<b>Dumonster1697</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:05am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:43pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:26am<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:18am

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:13am

ImTheAlpha's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of ImTheAlpha's badges

ImTheAlpha's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

#21259366
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/16/2014 at 10:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

#21258099
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38071) - you deserved it (6086)

On 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by HiImAlfredo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (2518)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (24433)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42275) - you deserved it (3068)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (2288)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39116) - you deserved it (3366)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

#21250852
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32997) - you deserved it (12691)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm - misc - by akieferr - United States

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46564) - you deserved it (3536)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46452) - you deserved it (3790)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (5728)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40526) - you deserved it (9440)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: