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ImJoshmeister

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ImJoshmeister

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  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ImJoshmeister's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

#19548071
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (2483)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (16117)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (2694)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (3236) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (1935)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (27131)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (7648)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

#19527572
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (1776)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (2654)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20172) - you deserved it (2525)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (17236)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42123) - you deserved it (3015)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10635) - you deserved it (35439)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)



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