Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ihavetopee

Search for a member

Ihavetopee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3561
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ihavetopee's page activity

Visits<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:52pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 12:12am<b>rob02</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 8:20pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 6:34pm<b>Ronnybegood</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 9:10pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:15pm<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 2:17am<b>tahrfarce</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 9:15am<b>LaL26</b> - the 11/10/2010 at 5:57pm<b>CoachLlama</b> - the 10/18/2010 at 8:01am<b>BriannaD</b> - the 09/23/2010 at 3:55pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 09/01/2010 at 3:18pm<b>LOLSMILEYFACE331</b> - the 08/02/2010 at 10:10pm<b>Indoame</b> - the 06/09/2010 at 8:20pm<b>suckmysarcasm</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 8:26pm<b>Ineffableturtle</b> - the 04/14/2010 at 8:27pm<b>YaLuckyGal</b> - the 04/12/2010 at 6:24pm<b>jeffern</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 8:14pm

Ihavetopee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ihavetopee's favorite FMLs

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60340) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11983) - you deserved it (100618)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

#3577359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (42998)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44116) - you deserved it (3392)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124993) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (216798)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16854) - you deserved it (55715)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

#3549560
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (71377)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you deserved it (47912)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was home alone in the shower when in the opening of the curtain, I could see a man in a ski mask. I passed out, hit my head on the tub. I then found out it was my dad pulling a prank on me. I almost died cause my dad wanted to see me scream like a girl. FML

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15661) - you deserved it (49992)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84067) - you deserved it (20447)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58391) - you deserved it (6936)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: