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IceCreamMage

Offline (the 05/01/2015 at 4:20am) | Search for a member

IceCreamMage

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5419
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About IceCreamMage : Often times people message me asking me who I am and if I want to meet up for drinks in some random, dodgy place.

I'll be stating now that I won't meet you if your only intent is killing me and desecrating my corpse in some gutter under a bridge.

On the other hand, I'm twenty two and working full time as a website designer. I'm in a relationship with an amazing girl and have never been happier.

My music tastes are a bit icky to most, enjoying a variety of things from heavy metal to techno music and various indie bands.

That's about all, folks!

IceCreamMage's page activity

Visits<b>Shipley18</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:00pm<b>PeaceTurtle</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:27pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:32am<b>captain_crook</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>FloWPs</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:00pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:11am<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:25am<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:03pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:45pm<b>YJD68</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:36am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:18am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:03am<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:15pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:04pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:09am

Fucked!<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:13am

IceCreamMage's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of IceCreamMage's badges

IceCreamMage's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57726) - you deserved it (8785)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (12641)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (5094)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44471) - you deserved it (5394)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87226) - you deserved it (6217)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46530) - you deserved it (7961)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (6873)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (25248)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55166) - you deserved it (5215)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (3214)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (39206)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68837) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37983) - you deserved it (12771)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (81881)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59158) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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