Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IceCreamMage

Offline (yesterday at 4:25am) | Search for a member

IceCreamMage

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2365
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About IceCreamMage : Often times people message me asking me who I am and if I want to meet up for drinks in some random, dodgy place.

I'll be stating now that I won't meet you if your only intent is killing me and desecrating my corpse in some gutter under a bridge.

On the other hand, I'm twenty two and working full time as a website designer. I'm in a relationship with an amazing girl and have never been happier.

My music tastes are a bit icky to most, enjoying a variety of things from heavy metal to techno music and various indie bands.

That's about all, folks!

IceCreamMage's page activity

Visits<b>g9m9brown</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:17pm<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:40pm<b>drumguy218</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 2:38am<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 4:23am<b>Gingerness23</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm<b>ToriaButtcheek</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:49pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:00pm<b>fatlemonjefferso</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 7:49pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:12pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 11:24pm<b>sarah_bear14</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 12:30am<b>MrHomerSimpson</b> - the 09/20/2011 at 9:52pm<b>Egnar</b> - the 08/16/2011 at 8:41pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/04/2011 at 9:33pm<b>krez</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 5:28am

IceCreamMage's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of IceCreamMage's badges

IceCreamMage's favorite FMLs

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (10413)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61381) - you deserved it (7210)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66699) - you deserved it (4059)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (4091)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50896) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56667) - you deserved it (4504)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47960) - you deserved it (3557)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48059) - you deserved it (3031)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54847) - you deserved it (27556)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54264) - you deserved it (4565)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44265) - you deserved it (2985)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39696) - you deserved it (4397)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46405) - you deserved it (3653)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (10323)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55781) - you deserved it (4418)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: