About IceCreamMage :
Often times people spam me asking me who I am and if I want to meet up for drinks in some random dodgy place.
I'll be stating now that I won't meet you if your only intent is killing me and desecrating my corpse in some gutter under a bridge.
On the other hand, I'm twenty naow, working part time and studying Japanese at uni. The future is still pretty hazy, but so far all the shots I've called have pretty much come true which leaves me with a few doubts.
I'm a realist. My idealistic ways died out a long time ago when I realised life isn't fair in the least bit.
My music tastes are a bit icky to most, enjoying a variety of things from heavy metal to techno music and various indie bands.
My hair is naturally curly and I never brush it, owing to the lovely nest I call my hair that everyone seems so intent on fondling due to softness.
My MSN is DeliberateAbortion@hotmail.com
Judgmental
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Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40478) - you deserved it (2320)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)
Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (3326)
On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (9991)
On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62237) - you deserved it (5229)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47438) - you deserved it (5712)
On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55025) - you deserved it (3081)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (6071)
On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12008) - you deserved it (44778)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32337) - you deserved it (5019)
On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (2158)
On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (11656)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (2804)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54597) - you deserved it (6574)
On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (3687)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (7975)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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