Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IceCreamMage

Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 11:01pm) | Search for a member

IceCreamMage

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3819
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About IceCreamMage : Often times people message me asking me who I am and if I want to meet up for drinks in some random, dodgy place.

I'll be stating now that I won't meet you if your only intent is killing me and desecrating my corpse in some gutter under a bridge.

On the other hand, I'm twenty two and working full time as a website designer. I'm in a relationship with an amazing girl and have never been happier.

My music tastes are a bit icky to most, enjoying a variety of things from heavy metal to techno music and various indie bands.

That's about all, folks!

IceCreamMage's page activity

Visits<b>YJD68</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:36am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:18am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:03am<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:15pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:04pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:09am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:19am<b>Bree06</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:48am<b>imarlee98</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:25pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:09pm<b>melooters</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:09am<b>ckirksey</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:31pm<b>elibel</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:08pm<b>g9m9brown</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:17pm

Liked!<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:13am

IceCreamMage's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of IceCreamMage's badges

IceCreamMage's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43313) - you deserved it (27636)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56676) - you deserved it (41778)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55885) - you deserved it (4151)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52641) - you deserved it (3679)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58278) - you deserved it (7232)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42477) - you deserved it (7017)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (59475)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53081) - you deserved it (8005)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (4146)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36171) - you deserved it (3251)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59972) - you deserved it (4625)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51842) - you deserved it (6642)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43037) - you deserved it (6139)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46213) - you deserved it (8331)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: