Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IceCreamMage

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 9:18am) | Search for a member

IceCreamMage

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4577
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About IceCreamMage : Often times people message me asking me who I am and if I want to meet up for drinks in some random, dodgy place.

I'll be stating now that I won't meet you if your only intent is killing me and desecrating my corpse in some gutter under a bridge.

On the other hand, I'm twenty two and working full time as a website designer. I'm in a relationship with an amazing girl and have never been happier.

My music tastes are a bit icky to most, enjoying a variety of things from heavy metal to techno music and various indie bands.

That's about all, folks!

IceCreamMage's page activity

Visits<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:32am<b>captain_crook</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>FloWPs</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:00pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:11am<b>PeaceTurtle</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:04am<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:25am<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:03pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:45pm<b>YJD68</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:36am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:18am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:03am<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:15pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:04pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:09am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:19am

Liked!<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:13am

IceCreamMage's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of IceCreamMage's badges

IceCreamMage's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65878) - you deserved it (21421)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (4855)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68915) - you deserved it (8108)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52168) - you deserved it (3036)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45155) - you deserved it (6354)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49205) - you deserved it (9511)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76972) - you deserved it (3657)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82424) - you deserved it (3506)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (33513)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (48487)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64940) - you deserved it (14360)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57481) - you deserved it (3956)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45229) - you deserved it (7685)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45048) - you deserved it (4520)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: