About I_Has_A_Fishy : Why are you looking at me? O_o
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I_Has_A_Fishy's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
by Helen / 11/10/2012 at 5:15am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
by Screwed / 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by 99Problemsandfml / 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
by orilykid / 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States / Kids
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 2:29am / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by cedechan / 09/29/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 7:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…