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I_Has_A_Fishy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML
by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by seriously / 05/24/2013 at 3:04am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 7:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
by Fox / 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML
by whatsername92 / 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Love
by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML
by Gus / 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
by hclagopus / 11/14/2012 at 6:39am / Norway / Geek
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…