Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IWATCHYOUSLEEP

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 5:21am) | Search for a member

IWATCHYOUSLEEP

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 755
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About IWATCHYOUSLEEP : Hello Stalker :D

I really need to update this stuff..

The awesome people on here since forever .. are:

IamScrubs
Dolphincheddar
ChopToxicity
salty
elmogoezRAWR

IWATCHYOUSLEEP's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:04am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:32am<b>tralala453</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:03am<b>HeartForMusic</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:38am<b>Flaminrazor</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 2:28pm<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 3:26pm<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:32pm<b>kodycage_</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 7:11pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 12:54am<b>justmyswag</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:30am<b>Bittenchaos</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 4:41pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 3:10am<b>jgtrflynn</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 10:13pm<b>vweve00</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 11:20am<b>unknowndevil</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 11:07am<b>NoDontKillMe</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 5:01pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 3:45am

IWATCHYOUSLEEP's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of IWATCHYOUSLEEP's badges

IWATCHYOUSLEEP's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (17212)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (3155)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
561 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (17115)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28295) - you deserved it (7893)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (2147)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (2147)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13745) - you deserved it (37783)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

#17597789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (5002)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

#17597789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (5002)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex-wife crashed my engagement party. FML

#17566039
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (3682)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (2807)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

#17565538
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17663) - you deserved it (14431)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (3280)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (3280)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (9561)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: