Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IHATEFMYLIFE

Offline (yesterday at 5:33pm) | Search for a member

IHATEFMYLIFE

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3631
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About IHATEFMYLIFE : O.o

IHATEFMYLIFE's page activity

Visits<b>iti</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:38pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:25pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:23pm<b>zombiejohn</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:06am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:07am<b>tengo</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:49pm<b>gonzo209</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:19pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:08am<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:50am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:51am<b>AAAB</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:47am<b>sshah5688</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:47pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:38pm<b>ripjawed</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:54am<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:45am<b>senthilistic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:59am<b>mmmmmk</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:58am<b>pratikp03</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:26am

IHATEFMYLIFE's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of IHATEFMYLIFE's badges

IHATEFMYLIFE's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (3106)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (17490)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45029) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (3412)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (5492)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46602) - you deserved it (9134)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48008) - you deserved it (3504)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39755) - you deserved it (4087)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (5487)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

#21184935
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37962) - you deserved it (4963)

On 06/23/2014 at 1:41am - animals - by callmeclarence - United States (California)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (4292)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42922) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42378) - you deserved it (7313)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (12544)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: