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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (1971)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (2936)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (2205)
On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (13027)
On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (2153)
On 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by stuckinalift (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24274) - you deserved it (3616)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92966) - you deserved it (6034)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (10496)
On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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