HyperCaz

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Offline (the 10/30/2016 at 12:33am)

HyperCaz

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3209
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HyperCaz's page activity

Visits<b>Colibrius</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:43am

HyperCaz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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HyperCaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

by busmonster / 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

by bwoolf96 / 09/10/2015 at 8:32am / Health

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

by tkoester / 08/29/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Work

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

by I love L / 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML

by lextoast / 07/26/2015 at 2:15pm / Rwanda / Love

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

by jaivolétonnez / 06/17/2015 at 1:54am / Transportation

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML

by dump truck hater / 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous