This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, I got my research paper back with a big zero at the top and the message, "Why would you turn this in? It wasn't good when your brother wrote it six years ago and it isn't good now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (284) - you totally deserved it (4434)
On 11/20/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5115) - you totally deserved it (31519)
On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8974) - you totally deserved it (16029)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16420) - you totally deserved it (4546)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you totally deserved it (1308)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you totally deserved it (1324)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you totally deserved it (2835)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you totally deserved it (1882)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44150) - you totally deserved it (4932)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you totally deserved it (1502)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by oh_its_true (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30213) - you totally deserved it (860)
On 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by 1ndustrytx (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you totally deserved it (2383)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31712) - you totally deserved it (3775)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you totally deserved it (12542)
On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)
