HowDidWeGetHere

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HowDidWeGetHere

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HowDidWeGetHere : I would fuck the shit out of Oprah Winfrey.

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Visits<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 4:16pm

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HowDidWeGetHere's favorite FMLs

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

by Maxie / 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

by no sir I have not / 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Work

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

by Tey / 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

by Myzyri / 06/08/2010 at 3:11am / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 4:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, our midterm exams were returned in my urban politics class. I had studied hard and scored 86%. The blonde girl next to me got a 92. Earlier in the semester she had asked me what state Detroit was in. FML

by Postdotfuzz / 12/07/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy