About HouseElf : Tired of cleaning up after people~
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Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13255) - you deserved it (5658)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm - misc - by arh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (1984)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17827) - you deserved it (1580)
On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (1194)
On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46618) - you deserved it (219)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4624) - you deserved it (26173) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16562) - you deserved it (1385)
On 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by deweyd8855 - United States
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16873) - you deserved it (1287)
On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (514)
On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5638) - you deserved it (24493)
On 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm - love - by sierra - United States
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (2454) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22267) - you deserved it (2467)
On 12/14/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by hozzyandie (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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