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HouseElf

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HouseElf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1304
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HouseElf : Tired of cleaning up after people~


Message me by owl.

HouseElf's page activity

Visits<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>toshtits</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:08am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:05pm<b>EllieMay42</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 9:01am<b>Yogibob</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:01pm<b>infected150</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:05pm<b>evan_7899</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:37pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:54am<b>nikkidii</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:41am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:49am<b>JocelynKaulitz</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 4:58am<b>peoplecircle101</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 3:24pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 10:30pm<b>jovialmaverick</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:12pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:49pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:56am

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HouseElf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49503) - you deserved it (8065)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46820) - you deserved it (5493)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (4838)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (5946)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38913) - you deserved it (2588)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (4225)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

#20546113
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (2136)

On 03/16/2013 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49242) - you deserved it (6566)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44917) - you deserved it (4411)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36803) - you deserved it (2156)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61430) - you deserved it (5376)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (3216)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

#20525834
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (10345)

On 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24654) - you deserved it (4322)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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