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HouseElf

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HouseElf
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 421
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HouseElf : Tired of cleaning up after people~


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HouseElf's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (3051)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (1768)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

#20546113
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (1808)

On 03/16/2013 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43457) - you deserved it (9083)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38824) - you deserved it (3895)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (1245)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50132) - you deserved it (4407)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (2265)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

#20525834
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (9428)

On 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19650) - you deserved it (3013)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17126) - you deserved it (9974)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my employees complained of B.O. wafting into his work space. As a joke, I created an anonymous survey online asking everyone if they had showered in the last 30 days, and sent it out. Half of them put "Yes", the other half put a variation of "I can't afford to shower on my salary." FML

#20506170
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7502) - you deserved it (19251)

On 02/14/2013 at 7:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32785) - you deserved it (1965)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (3456)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (21285)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States



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Monday 20 May 2013

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