About HouseElf : Tired of cleaning up after people~
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Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14553) - you deserved it (21380)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (2833)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (5324)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78027) - you deserved it (4460)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55171) - you deserved it (3225)
On 05/08/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by lalalaisling - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16574) - you deserved it (65351)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40379) - you deserved it (2461)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47357) - you deserved it (2971)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (7228)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41956) - you deserved it (4796)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (4456)
On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (4277)
On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33798) - you deserved it (2240)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (3051)
On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31196) - you deserved it (1768)
On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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