[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Houdeka

Search for a member

Houdeka
  • Town/Country : Kansas city, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 February 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 870
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Houdeka's last visitors

FreezeQWERTYCommanderajninamai

Houdeka's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Houdeka's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (19446) - you deserved it (2491)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. I was really excited until he asked, "Can we go halfsies on the ring?" FML

#13494510 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (20244) - you deserved it (3592)

On 10/18/2010 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (2596)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (15287)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

#6480509 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (14375) - you deserved it (3670)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (12204) - you deserved it (4821)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (7353) - you deserved it (12594)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (2850)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (1983)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (10184)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (9668) - you deserved it (22876)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (12094)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

#3173139 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (9506)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by feelinnauseous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

#3120463 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (3623)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by sweetsixteen (woman) - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363042) - you deserved it (401392)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)