Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Horsempeg

Search for a member

Horsempeg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 961
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Horsempeg : Hi, I am a country girl, from a country town. I say it how it is and I am not afraid to speak my mind. If you feel the need, message me. I don't have kik.

Horsempeg's page activity

Visits<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - 9 hours ago<b>SoMystic</b> - 9 hours ago<b>DedicatedNova</b> - 9 hours ago<b>adamxxx2567</b> - 11 hours ago<b>dawsonstar</b> - 13 hours ago<b>bjf21</b> - yesterday at 3:32pm<b>ashley1407</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:09pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:38am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:35pm<b>Derek0805</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:16pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:36am<b>JKROB</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:34am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:24pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:37pm<b>lexypaige</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:15pm<b>jellybeens</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:32pm

Horsempeg's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Horsempeg's badges

Horsempeg's favorite FMLs

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36702) - you deserved it (6762)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54781) - you deserved it (5801)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47409) - you deserved it (9265)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47325) - you deserved it (3833)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34548) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (6223)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (3430)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (6376)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: