Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hornedone

Search for a member

Hornedone

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1660
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Hornedone's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:01am<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 2:40am<b>vballgirly28</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 7:44pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:08pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 8:14pm

Hornedone's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Hornedone's badges

Hornedone's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (82011)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59063) - you deserved it (30746)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53031) - you deserved it (23629)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

#3395753
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50255) - you deserved it (4637)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

#2919658
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (46403)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83953) - you deserved it (20416)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML

#2655825
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (6397)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7417) - you deserved it (79187)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51136) - you deserved it (18248)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to go visit my beloved husband in the hospital. As I went past the nurses station, I heard them talking about the "bastard in Room 303." I went on to visit my husband in room 303. FML

#1801760
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45883) - you deserved it (4770)

On 05/10/2009 at 1:38am - health - by LadyLuck (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

#1711398
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51081) - you deserved it (4257)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by mikesok988 (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML

#1363713
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9922) - you deserved it (88114)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92494) - you deserved it (17333)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: