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Hookemhorns10

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Hookemhorns10
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  • Number of visits : 124
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Hookemhorns10's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (57957) - you deserved it (11005)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (716)

I agree, your life sucks (121985) - you deserved it (29418)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (317416) - you deserved it (15411)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (851)

I agree, your life sucks (233251) - you deserved it (20075)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (45380) - you deserved it (372616)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (708)

I agree, your life sucks (349156) - you deserved it (23622)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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