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HomeAl0ne

Offline (the 03/05/2014 at 11:12pm) | Search for a member

HomeAl0ne

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11342
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....

OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?

Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.

If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.

HomeAl0ne's page activity

Visits<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:14pm<b>lp102400</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:45pm<b>meowmixgirl</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:21pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:31am<b>Bloink</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Mernfern</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:36am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:27pm<b>zoecw</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:05am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:31pm<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:02am<b>umidontrember</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 5:02pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:43pm<b>music8484</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:42pm<b>SosKrosis</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 10:41am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 10:24am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 8:59am

HomeAl0ne's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HomeAl0ne's badges

HomeAl0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (4870)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML

#16153880
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34581) - you deserved it (7677)

On 05/13/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by ctop (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

#16148221
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm - love - by dammitvasquez - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60928) - you deserved it (4746)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (11319)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (8882)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65427) - you deserved it (7373)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12812) - you deserved it (38694)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML

#15935216
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15357) - you deserved it (36212)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

#15932020
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37714) - you deserved it (4420)

On 04/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Israel

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32617) - you deserved it (6836)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

#15865508
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37784) - you deserved it (3430)

On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (4217)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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