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HomeAl0ne

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HomeAl0ne
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8363
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....

OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?

Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.

If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.

HomeAl0ne's last visitors

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HomeAl0ne's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HomeAl0ne's badges

HomeAl0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

#16599419
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (3226) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (4123)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26847) - you deserved it (3814)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (6859)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

#16432657
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (4576)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

#16395654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (5332)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (53474)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34606) - you deserved it (5416)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43119) - you deserved it (4595)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8546) - you deserved it (30182)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

#16291587
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (4733)

On 05/22/2011 at 1:35am - love - by severedface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

#16271317
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (4487)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (9882)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (32855)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)



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