About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....
OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?
Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.
If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.
Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (6510)
On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (1801)
On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (5070)
On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15967) - you deserved it (26232)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (2145)
On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (3888)
On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5287) - you deserved it (29263)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17600) - you deserved it (2038)
On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20048) - you deserved it (4880)
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6642) - you deserved it (9786)
On 01/14/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Ad-s - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (2161)
On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version
Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11697) - you deserved it (6536)
On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (1922)
On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version
Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (3955)
On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (2029)
On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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