About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....
OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?
Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.
If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.
Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9143) - you deserved it (29109)
On 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm - animals - by frenchpop1960 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9416) - you deserved it (55815)
On 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7724) - you deserved it (41735)
On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39305) - you deserved it (4505)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61398) - you deserved it (2559)
On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36866) - you deserved it (1910)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44452) - you deserved it (17455)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (10186)
On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (4013)
On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by tigerfiend (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178325) - you deserved it (61514)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39687) - you deserved it (5125)
On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (4391)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408815) - you deserved it (26498)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (6324)
On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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