About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....
OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?
Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.
If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.
Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (6350)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38037) - you deserved it (4250)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:00am - love - by Baconcook3000 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (8017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41332) - you deserved it (6110)
On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (4819)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30823) - you deserved it (4835)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States
Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (2731)
On 07/18/2011 at 9:08am - misc - by _TaToRtOt_ (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16892) - you deserved it (1356)
On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (1994)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107081) - you deserved it (5823)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65179) - you deserved it (6889)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32495) - you deserved it (16309)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (2546)
On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34805) - you deserved it (1941)
On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (2308)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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