HomeAl0ne

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Offline (the 03/05/2014 at 11:12pm)

HomeAl0ne

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20558
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....

OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?

Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.

If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.

HomeAl0ne's page activity

Visits<b>KhaiQ</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:13pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:02pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:08am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:34am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:05pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:57am<b>BobbyTheBilly</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:21pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:08pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:15am<b>Koios</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:02am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:26pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:32pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:31pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:34pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:54pm

HomeAl0ne's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HomeAl0ne's badges

HomeAl0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

by EpicMayonnaise / 08/26/2011 at 3:35am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2011 at 1:39am / United States / Money

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

by Say Cheese / 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

by rene / 08/22/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

by anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 7:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

by anonymous22kittylicklick / 08/20/2011 at 12:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids