About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....
OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?
Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.
If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.
Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (2204)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (2411)
On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (2322)
On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (6816)
On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27753) - you deserved it (2334)
On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (2135)
On 08/22/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by rene - United States (Texas)
Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16411) - you deserved it (1429)
On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (3460)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (3321)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (1733)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (8243)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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