About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....
OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?
Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.
If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.
Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10586) - you deserved it (31304)
On 03/01/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (4460)
On 02/25/2011 at 7:17am - love - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (15440)
On 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Elle (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7646) - you deserved it (38855)
On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46727) - you deserved it (6190)
On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -
Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML
I agree, your life sucks (17622) - you deserved it (5104)
On 02/04/2011 at 10:01am - kids - by dancer101 (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (3281)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (3854)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML
I agree, your life sucks (37699) - you deserved it (3122) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14706) - you deserved it (43393)
On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (4114)
On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22740) - you deserved it (6631) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version
Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (19590)
On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7564) - you deserved it (23818)
On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38) - you deserved it (17623)
On 01/20/2011 at 4:11am - misc - by fmljae -
Monday 20 May 2013
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