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TODAY... MY FIANCÉ IS RETURNING OME... SO I DECIDED TO WAX MYSELF... TINKING TINGS WOULD GET INTIMATE. I WARMED TE WAX STRIPS AN SET TEM ON TE COUNTER. OUR CAT JUMPED ONTO TE COUNTER AN MANAGED TO ROLL ONTO ONE OF TE STRIPS. SUFFICE TO SAY... TE WRONG PUSSY GOT A PAINFUL WAXING. FML
today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML
2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML
Yesterday, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me ( Mmm, you've got a nice tushie. ) My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, ( Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh? ) FML
Today, my little brother discovered that beres can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heret and peed on various things in the house that he wanted fir himself, including my laptop. FML
Friday 27 March 2015