Hlperez

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Hlperez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3586
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Hlperez's page activity

Visits<b>pwagner014</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:23am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:44am

Hlperez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

by skiittlez713 / 05/20/2011 at 4:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML

by stranded / 05/19/2011 at 7:46am / United States / Transportation

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

by levi69 / 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

by Red-cheeked / 05/18/2011 at 9:08am / Work

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

by kaileigh10 / 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm / Animals

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

by unrequited / 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm / United States / Love

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

by SexyQueen0905 / 05/17/2011 at 9:05am / Health