Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hlperez

Search for a member

Hlperez

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2417
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Hlperez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36300) - you deserved it (5987)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39691) - you deserved it (4106)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (14056)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

#16263681
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (15024)

On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

#16255718
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35598) - you deserved it (7273)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML

#16249846
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (14502)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:46am - misc - by stranded (woman) - United States

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

#16237005
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53967) - you deserved it (4200)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

#16235775
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10202) - you deserved it (41751)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64968) - you deserved it (4462)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13412) - you deserved it (45743)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

#16230560
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (11457)

On 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm - love - by unrequited (man) - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48615) - you deserved it (25510)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48615) - you deserved it (25510)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

#16219785
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (10523)

On 05/17/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by SexyQueen0905 -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: