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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you deserved it (28142) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (2819)
On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (10244)
On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (12494)
On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (8013) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21954) - you deserved it (4561)
On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (2701)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (39268)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30337) - you deserved it (7033)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10277) - you deserved it (38879)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (4784)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (38259)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24463) - you deserved it (12486)
On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7859) - you deserved it (30622)
On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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