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HiveMindFury

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HiveMindFury
  • Town/Country : England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1214
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

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HiveMindFury's favorite FMLs

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (17817)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (38107)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (1629)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (6957)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (25936)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (6616)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

#17837953
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8771) - you deserved it (28245)

On 09/26/2011 at 7:46am - money - by Sam - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11253) - you deserved it (72235)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML

#17818802
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11209) - you deserved it (28493)

On 09/24/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by deee21 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

#17814910
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

#17812244
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17858) - you deserved it (3976)

On 09/23/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by hatty - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (10973)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (13913)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11410) - you deserved it (27409)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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