HiveMindFury

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HiveMindFury

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 November 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4352
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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HiveMindFury's page activity

Visits<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 01/24/2011 at 9:47am

HiveMindFury's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of HiveMindFury's badges

HiveMindFury's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

by joser6969 / 10/29/2011 at 10:07am / United States / Work

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

by omgomgomg / 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

by Me / 10/27/2011 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

by rowanjusmc / 10/26/2011 at 12:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

by pinkjade / 10/25/2011 at 3:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2011 at 6:07am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

by Mrs. Terrified / 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

by kengu / 10/23/2011 at 5:02pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Animals

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy