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Hillaryy789

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Hillaryy789

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 876
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Hillaryy789 : The more you know..

Hillaryy789's page activity

Visits<b>Tthug</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:02pm<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:39pm<b>kameron018</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:46am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:03pm<b>lndala</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:44am<b>billyz77</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 2:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 4:53am<b>sirjuice35</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:13am<b>boar223</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 4:48pm<b>iiZombieRose</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:13am<b>buckeyefan16</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:09am<b>hellobobismyname</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:59am<b>Squirrel1256</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 12:19pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:11am<b>Rissaboo180</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 8:10pm<b>mrebeccan</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 12:05pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 1:41am<b>jesterkitty4</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 7:08pm

Hillaryy789's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Hillaryy789's badges

Hillaryy789's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10246) - you deserved it (27051)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (9463)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27656) - you deserved it (4896)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (4420)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (4420)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

#19268166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (3499)

On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (30582)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (5781)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42153) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35125) - you deserved it (8054)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12509) - you deserved it (56782)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19995) - you deserved it (33282)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (5179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11714) - you deserved it (41575)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)



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