Hillaryy789

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Offline (the 01/04/2016 at 11:55am)

Hillaryy789

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2017
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Hillaryy789 : The more you know..

Hillaryy789's page activity

Visits<b>fmlperson8264</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:10pm<b>jb591</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:35am<b>LHOTP</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:04pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:02pm<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:39pm<b>kameron018</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:46am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:03pm<b>lndala</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:44am<b>billyz77</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 2:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 4:53am<b>sirjuice35</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:13am<b>boar223</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 4:48pm<b>iiZombieRose</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:13am<b>buckeyefan16</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:09am<b>hellobobismyname</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:59am<b>Squirrel1256</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 12:19pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:11am

Fucked!<b>jb591</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:35pm

Hillaryy789's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Hillaryy789's badges

Hillaryy789's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

by joolsie / 04/13/2012 at 9:11am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 1:52am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids