Hillaryy789

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Offline (the 01/04/2016 at 11:55am)

Hillaryy789

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1874
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Hillaryy789 : The more you know..

Hillaryy789's page activity

Visits<b>fmlperson8264</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:10pm<b>jb591</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:35am<b>LHOTP</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:04pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:02pm<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:39pm<b>kameron018</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:46am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:03pm<b>lndala</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:44am<b>billyz77</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 2:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 4:53am<b>sirjuice35</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:13am<b>boar223</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 4:48pm<b>iiZombieRose</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:13am<b>buckeyefan16</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:09am<b>hellobobismyname</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:59am<b>Squirrel1256</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 12:19pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:11am

Fucked!<b>jb591</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:35pm

Hillaryy789's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Hillaryy789's badges

Hillaryy789's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

by friend / 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Kids

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation