Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Hey_Darl : I play guitar and bass.
I sing and my names not actually Darl, and yes I meant to spell it like that, I'm not illiterate...
If your wondering my real name, just ask! WAIT! You can't luls!
I should slap myself for saying that, but I'll let you do the honors! :)
"Bunnies are really babies, dressed as bunnies!!"
"Bruce Wayne Is Batman!"
"Ahh gross, you're DVD player blew it's load..!"
"Totally Toats McGoats!!"
"I've got a twenty dollar bill, that says no one's ever seen you without make-up..."
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML
Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML
Friday 27 November 2015