About Hey_Darl : I play guitar and bass.
I sing and my names not actually Darl, and yes I meant to spell it like that, I'm not illiterate...
If your wondering my real name, just ask! WAIT! You can't luls!
I should slap myself for saying that, but I'll let you do the honors! :)
Random Quotes:
"Bunnies are really babies, dressed as bunnies!!"
"Bruce Wayne Is Batman!"
"Ahh gross, you're DVD player blew it's load..!"
"Totally Toats McGoats!!"
"I've got a twenty dollar bill, that says no one's ever seen you without make-up..."
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (43369)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108957) - you deserved it (6846)
On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79666) - you deserved it (3520)
On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56344) - you deserved it (33009)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (78766) - you deserved it (5582)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82219) - you deserved it (30308)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (123375) - you deserved it (18310)
On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (227780) - you deserved it (13780)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML
I agree, your life sucks (131654) - you deserved it (18245)
On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52505) - you deserved it (10009)
On 03/08/2009 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53360) - you deserved it (586084)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (1339)
On 02/03/2009 at 4:46pm - money - by fire0fisis - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14575) - you deserved it (47844)
On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (6924)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42932) - you deserved it (4633)
On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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