HeyLookJesus

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HeyLookJesus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About HeyLookJesus : My name is Jesse, and I'm a 15 year old boy, and I live in San Francisco. Im rather nice, unless you happen to piss me off(: I enjoy,

-Skating
-Soccer
-Football
-Friends
-Beach:D

Im usually on FML on my iPhone, so It may take some time for me to get back to you, but feel free to message me and ask questions anyway (:

P.S. Just because I live in SF, does NOT mean I'm gay(:

HeyLookJesus's page activity

Visits<b>ellie_215</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:00am<b>cmcgirt37383</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:05pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:34am<b>Sundevil99</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 6:27pm<b>Redlink608</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 10:21pm<b>youbruinedmylife</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 11:16pm<b>always_audrey</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 5:02am<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 12:11pm<b>lilpsyco</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 12:53pm<b>ReneeFelicity</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 5:52pm<b>FallenShadows</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 1:15am<b>Laurenlou</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 7:49pm<b>drav02</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Alexa_Nicole13</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:43pm<b>missyj0</b> - the 10/04/2011 at 9:17am<b>Jessica6196</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 1:43am<b>xtraordinary</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 12:17pm<b>CoverBoy</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 10:09am

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HeyLookJesus's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

by IRum / 08/11/2011 at 4:45am / Russian Federation / Kids

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 11:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

by Gbeat411 / 06/25/2010 at 1:09am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

by FGum / 07/30/2009 at 1:56am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

by R_U_CEREAL / 07/04/2009 at 4:58am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy