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HeyLookJesus

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HeyLookJesus
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 January 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About HeyLookJesus : My name is Jesse, and I'm a 15 year old boy, and I live in San Francisco. Im rather nice, unless you happen to piss me off(: I enjoy,

-Skating
-Soccer
-Football
-Friends
-Beach:D

Im usually on FML on my iPhone, so It may take some time for me to get back to you, but feel free to message me and ask questions anyway (:

P.S. Just because I live in SF, does NOT mean I'm gay(:

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HeyLookJesus's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33490) - you deserved it (5165)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (4748)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (47090)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (2833)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

#11442644
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7665) - you deserved it (60920)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (3392)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6450) - you deserved it (72330)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59544) - you deserved it (11396)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)



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