Heathersaur

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Heathersaur

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16217
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Heathersaur : Sorry if my sarcastic and offensive comments bother you. If they do, then please let me know,-Oh wait, you can't! :D

Heathersaur's page activity

Visits<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:03am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 11:06pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:17am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:09pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 8:12am<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:13am<b>Formula86</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:46am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:14am<b>oops6663</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:59pm<b>FML_OR_NAW</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:36pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:39pm<b>gej12345</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 10:57am<b>SimplyEcks</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:37pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 10:12pm<b>Fhrostty</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:54am<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 4:04am<b>Jellybean22</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:11pm

Heathersaur's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Heathersaur's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

by Sweeney / 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

by Moisdone / 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

by UGH / 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

by 4gottenmemories / 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Love