About HeXr : People are stupid
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15685) - you deserved it (3165)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16827) - you deserved it (1401)
On 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by daddydaughterWTF - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17734) - you deserved it (1703)
On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (875)
On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31192)
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (1971)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (15295)
On 07/12/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by hot coffee - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10551) - you deserved it (20836)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14541) - you deserved it (1247)
On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (1389)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16784) - you deserved it (1875)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15844) - you deserved it (4462)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16011) - you deserved it (1738)
On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (2749)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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