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HeXr

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HeXr
  • Town/Country : Oakville, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5372
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

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HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49314) - you deserved it (3448)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (4543)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46024) - you deserved it (3883)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41934) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (7276)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47931) - you deserved it (8381)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44815) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48040) - you deserved it (6804)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34662) - you deserved it (2877)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55400) - you deserved it (12352)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38055) - you deserved it (13359)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52160) - you deserved it (6577)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45802) - you deserved it (8940)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48443) - you deserved it (7993)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)



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