Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HeXr

Offline (yesterday at 8:36pm) | Search for a member

HeXr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14095
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

HeXr's page activity

Visits<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:49pm<b>DonkeyTeeth2013</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:08pm<b>amourmourant</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:50am<b>DavidaimeRS</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:03pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:19pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:49pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:04am<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:19am<b>barneyAU</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:20pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:08pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:44pm<b>bluehero</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:35am<b>KissMyButtocks</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:30am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:18am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:10pm<b>mattlw</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:13pm

HeXr's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of HeXr's badges

HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (3582)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

#18898180
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22853) - you deserved it (3703)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27649) - you deserved it (2646)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I noticed a man in my neighborhood waving at me. I don't talk to him often so I excitedly waved back. Turns out he was trying to warn me of the car about to hit me. FML

#18878562
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (4049)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

#18868671
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26830) - you deserved it (8584)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (4861)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (14266)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38973) - you deserved it (3417)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (5852)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24117) - you deserved it (3570)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24117) - you deserved it (3570)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (14021)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (4947) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: