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HeXr

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HeXr
  • Town/Country : Oakville, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5330
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

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HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (4042)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

#16391580
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31749) - you deserved it (7369)

On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (13121)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35350) - you deserved it (4666)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43457) - you deserved it (5464)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (34295)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (4652)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

#15650544
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (3016)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Imslow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26682) - you deserved it (5072)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (30331)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (25753)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (3787)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11414) - you deserved it (19237)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13853) - you deserved it (22791)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)



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