About HeXr : People are stupid
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (2763)
On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8349) - you deserved it (35858)
On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (28553)
On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (3982)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version
Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (6125)
On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (4696)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (24245)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (3124)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (2951)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5928) - you deserved it (18228)
On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (2509)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43510)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (5492)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5400) - you deserved it (36227)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4264) - you deserved it (51236)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
