Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HeXr

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

HeXr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7141
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

HeXr's page activity

Visits<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:19am<b>barneyAU</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:20pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:08pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:44pm<b>bluehero</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:35am<b>KissMyButtocks</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:30am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:18am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:10pm<b>mattlw</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:13pm<b>Porcei</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:19am<b>ThatLooksSticky</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:19pm<b>catkat1988</b> - the 01/23/2012 at 6:38am<b>silent_bride</b> - the 12/09/2011 at 2:09pm<b>ikickgingers</b> - the 12/02/2011 at 11:36am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>ffmelvin03</b> - the 09/24/2010 at 12:51am<b>Baron_n_1</b> - the 09/10/2010 at 2:34pm

HeXr's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of HeXr's badges

HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (4928) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (9077)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (7703)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (2343)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15205) - you deserved it (27593)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41556) - you deserved it (8046)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (5322)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (49829)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (3613)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (3613)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

#18578540
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12802) - you deserved it (61345)

On 12/22/2011 at 10:23am - work - by insomnia (woman) - United States

Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML

#18557623
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (2039)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:53pm - work - by me (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (2898)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (2898)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: