Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HeXr

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

HeXr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9821
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

HeXr's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:49pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:04am<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:19am<b>barneyAU</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:20pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:08pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:44pm<b>bluehero</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:35am<b>KissMyButtocks</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:30am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:18am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:10pm<b>mattlw</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:13pm<b>Porcei</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:19am<b>ThatLooksSticky</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:19pm<b>catkat1988</b> - the 01/23/2012 at 6:38am<b>silent_bride</b> - the 12/09/2011 at 2:09pm<b>ikickgingers</b> - the 12/02/2011 at 11:36am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm

HeXr's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of HeXr's badges

HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (5750)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (2749)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

#19243126
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21964) - you deserved it (2428)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:45pm - misc - by babymine - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

#19240450
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you deserved it (6617)

On 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm - misc - by shelly - United States (Virginia)

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (45207)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (2814)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (2528)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (1907)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (3885)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (29528)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (5868)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you deserved it (19004)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7503) - you deserved it (28785)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

#19105006
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25757) - you deserved it (2147)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (3512)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: